Anger Management

What is Anger?

We all know what anger is. Whether a fleeting annoyance or full-fledged rage, we've all felt it. Anger is not a "bad" emotion. On the contrary: it is completely normal and usually healthy. However, when uncontrolled, it turns destructive and can significantly affect the overall quality of your life.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person, event etc. or your anger could be caused by excessive worrying about personal problems. In addition, memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to a perceived threat which inspires powerful, often aggressive behaviors. On the other hand, there are laws and social norms to discourage us from lashing out at everyone who irritates or annoys us. Accordingly, it is essential to express our anger in assertive - not aggressive - ways. To do this means, we need communication skills which make clear what our needs are without hurting others.

Management

The goal of anger management is to channel anger in a constructive fashion as well as reduce the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't totally avoid or eliminate the things or people that anger you but you can learn to control your reaction.

Why Are Some People Angrier Than Others?

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning they believe that they should not have to be subjected to inconvenience or annoyance. They don't know how to take things in stride, and they are particularly infuriated if the situation seems unjust to them.

What makes these people this way? Causes can be genetic or physiological, sociocultural, as well as the result of family background.

Strategies to Manage Anger

• Relaxation
• Cognitive Restructuring (Changing the way you think.)
• Problem Solving
• Effective Communication
• Using Humor
• Changing Your Enviornment

Remember, you can't eliminate anger-and it wouldn't be a particularly good idea even if you could. In spite of your efforts, things will happen that will trigger your anger. Life brings with it the experience of frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable action of others. You can't control this but you can change the way you evaluate and react to it.

• www.noah-health.org/en/mental/recovery/anger.html

This message is brought to you by the Bergen Community College Counseling Center. We can help. Ask to speak with a Personal Counselor for a confidential appointment, or community referral, A-118, 201-447-7211.