Relationships

Your relationship is HEALTHY if you can say "yes" to most of the following:

1. My partner is a good listener.
2. My partner seems to understand me (even when we disagree).
3. My partner understands my opinions and ideas (even when we argue).
4. We resolve our differences easily.
5. It is easy to talk to my partner.
6. We have a good balance (most of the time) between our time together and apart.
7. It is easy to make financial decisions.
8. It is easy to find things to do. We have fun together.
9. Our physical relationship is satisfying and fulfilling.
10. We are both equally willing to make adjustments in our relationship.
11. We can share our thoughts and beliefs even when we disagree.
12. I feel respected, comforted, appreciated!

But, if you agree with any of the following, you might want to re-evaluate your partnership:

1. I feel sorry for my partner.
2. I feel lonely even when we are together.
3. I hate the idea of being alone.
4. My partner is emotionally dependent on me.
5. I am emotionally dependent on my partner.
6. I walk on "egg shells" to keep "the peace".
7. I am afraid of my partner’s anger.

Shelter Our Sisters (Domestic Violence website)
http://www.sexetc.org
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu
http://www.campusblues.com/reabu.asp
http://www.campusblues.com/comingout.asp

This message is brought to you by the Bergen Community College Counseling Center. We can help. Ask to speak with a Personal Counselor for a confidential appointment, or community referral, A-118, 201-447-7211.